It is friendship that I cherish most in life

No matter what happens tomorrow, we had today.

Since I can remember, friendship has been the most important value of the human relationships to me, simply because it includes a lot of what we can be to each other. It can do us a lot of good, but it can also cause a lot of harm if things are not put well. What is important is that in the end somehow you succeed in working things out. I really think that life is about finding ways of bonding as many as we can and as frequently. Good things happen if you give them priority. 

Perhaps one of the most tear dropping stories is the screen adaptation of the book One day writen by David Nicholls and directed by  Lone Scherfig. Rarely do I watch a Hollywood movie that is focused on the story, not on the actors, director or special effects.

The story is about the stage of human relationships, which is focused on friendship, trust, connection, fondness and undestanding regardless of the occurences that happen on both sides.

In addition to my absolute recommendation for you watch this film whenever you feel like rejoicing the time the close one, here are the Secrets of Friendship by J. Donald Walters, a gift I have received from a very special person to my heart, in 2001.

What Mr Walters mentions in his notes about one of the most important relationships in the world can easily be found in the movie One Day, which does not intend to reveal the secret but it gives you paths you may want to follow in order to embark in the wonderful journey of being together.

The secret of friendship is:

  • exercising discrimination in your choice of friends; prefer sincerity over praise, and loyalty over friendly smiles.
  • realizing that to have friends one must be a friend, first;  making friendship, therefore, a life-priority.
  • demanding nothing of others, but acting and reacting in a spirit of freedom.
  • including other people’s happiness in your own.
  • being more interested in listening to others that in getting them to listen to you.
  • active, not merely verbal, concern for the well-being of others.
  • liking others, rather than worrying how well they like you.
  • showing appreciation, and not taking it for granted that your friends always know how you feel about them.
  • accepting your friends as they are, and not trying to re-create them in your own image, or according to your own desires.
  • not imposing your mood, good or bad, on others, but giving them space to define their own feelings.
  • subordinating your needs to those of others; finding in friendship itself your fulfillment
  • never belittling a friend’s enthusiam.
  • courtesy; respecting a friend’s right to its own point of view.
  • accepting any differences between you good-naturedly, and appreciaatively.
  • expressing kindness with your eyes and through the tone of your voice, not only with words.
  • sharing with friends your aspirations and ideals, and not only passing time with them in camaraderie.
  • giving friends you full attention when conversing with them.
  • holding kind thoughts, especially when misunderstandings occur.
  • never judging, but concentrating on what attracts you in your friends.
  • not criticizing, but voicing sincerely the beneficial truth.
  • rejoicing in a friend’s good fortune, and never drawing unfavorable comparisons to your own condition.
  • giving a friend strength and understanding his sorrows, and not sharing his grief so deeply that you intensify it.
  • supporting a friend in the truth, no less so if it means confessing your own error.
  • reliability; being true to your word, your promises, your commitments.
  • learning and growing through your association with others.
  • seeking transcendence in your relationships.
  • not emphasizing the present tensions in your relationships, but concentrating on the longer rhythms of friendship.
  • loyalty; being a true friend to others, even when they let you down.
  • seeking benefits that are mutual,a nd never using a friend for selfish ends.

 

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